[a literary magazine]
[ Issue #2 ]
Lovelorn
by Chloe Adams
I love the phrase I miss you so bad
So bad
Bad like I want to inhale this moment until everything From tongue to
toes, curl and crinkle
Carry it in the wet depths of my lungs
Until we finally touch pink lips again
And I can kiss it into your mouth
Let this missing find home on the backs of your teeth, on the beast of
your tongue
Bad like the 11th century fresco of Mary in St. Sofija
Glistening tears topple down her face
She cannot break through the light around her child to caress him We
never agreed to share our loves with the open-wound world Now, we
both brim over with missing
Bad like the yearning wildflowers dotting the trail’s edge All I see is the
periwinkle of your veins
Bleeding beauty all over the place
This missing makes a mess of me
Bad like I’m jealous of the past
When you tell your moonlit stories of dancing in sticky dive bars
I feel not being there in my chest
I cannot believe you didn’t emerge, a fresh thundering foal, to me alone
Missing turns me nostalgic for memories I don’t own
Bad like your fresh cut hair shorn too close
I need its fistfuls
Brown waves catch light between my fingertips Anchor me to you
This missing floats me out into open waters
Bad, bad, bad
This missing infinite
This missing dirty
This missing bare
Baby, this missing so bad
Chloe Adams (she/her) is a poet and educator residing in the Bay Area of California. She writes creative nonfiction about mental health, navigating romance, and exploring familial identity. Chloe has been previously published in Free Verse Revolution and Querencia Press. You can connect with her further at @chloes1amwrites on Instagram.