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The Crack Between Us 

by k.p.fen

i give up on trying to hold 
onto the departing       or the departed
the fractured     the don’t-put-me-back-together

as fragments of my past deliberate leaving
like old friends shuffling in front of a familiar bar 
silence slicing through every sentence
their hands slowly slipping off common threads


before they know it       the gap broadens 
and neither one can leap far enough to reach the other
but they continue to text every six months
wish the other a happy birthday
a Merry Christmas        a Happy New Year 
because keeping is easier than starting over 
          is easier than letting go


i trace a sidewalk crack with my foot
thinking of the days we used to avoid them like lava
sometimes it’s tree roots     sometimes it’s unsettled ground
but the crack always appears eventually
and we almost always resort to ripping it all apart

k.p.fen (she/her) is a Filipina-American who resides in New Jersey with her loving husband and cat. She tries not to define herself by occupation or her mental illness, but recognizes they continue to shape her life.  Her poems appear or are forthcoming in The Post Grad Journal, Inklette Magazine, Vagabond City, Rigorous Magazine, In Her Space Journal, and New Note Poetry.  You can find her reading at open mics throughout the state and on Instagram at @inkdroplets.

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